Wrong place, wrong time
by surgery-whore
Summary: set in season 6 set after lexie/mark break up, contains rape, will be HEA. There are four stages you go through when something like this happens to you. 1.)Disgust,2.)Pain,3.)Sadness,4.)Anger. It's your fault if your baby might be dead and you're damn right mad that you only just realise this when you are in surgery, surgery with one mark Sloan.
1. Chapter 1

There are four stages you go through when something like this happens to you.

Disgust

You believe what he whispered, it was your fault. If you didn't tease him, if you weren't a flirt, it wouldn't have happened. Every time you look in the mirror for the first couple of weeks you can see the bruises and marks your left with, wearing more concealed than normal, long thermal tops under your scrubs, you can hide it from everyone. Having a photographic memory helps everything in your life except this; you remember every touch, every whisper in great detail.

For the first week sitting down hurts, standing in the OR for hours is painful, to the point of bursting into tears in the middle of surgery, 'she's just being pathetic' your disgusted with yourself letting this happen, for letting yourself become this person. This person you would normally pity, for becoming a statistic.

Pain

Pain from the ordeal, pain both emotionally and physically. Hurt that no one cares enough to notice, hurt that he doesn't care. Hurt that everyone thinks you're being pathetic about a silly break up that they all knew would happen. Pain when bending down or reaching up.

Sadness

You're sad about it. Sad that you are this person that cries all night, that can't eat or keep anything down. You're sad that he doesn't want to speak to you still. Sad that your own sister doesn't care about you, you're just sad. Sad that there's nothing you can do about it know. Sad that if you didn't leave him this wouldn't have happen, you wouldn't be walking to Meredith's after your car broke down.

Anger

You're angry at yourself for being this person, this pathetic, sad, depressing person. You're angry that you have become a shell of yourself. Angry that he still won't talk to you, you both did things you regret, you weren't ready for what he had picked for your future. Angry that he is being like this when all you need is your best friend who happens to be your ex lover and ex boyfriend, even if he can't stand the sight of you. Angry at your sister for sitting you down and giving you some crap speech about being pathetic and annoying again and most importantly you're mad at him. The bastard for making you believe it was your fault, you didn't tease him, nor did you flirt with him, and you did nothing.

You're angry at the situation you're in. You're angry that you have only noticed how bad the situation is and you're angry that you know if you didn't leave him this wouldn't of happen, you could be half in but you would have been happy because he would of been happy.

Bust most important you feel all this still after two months of hating yourself because you know this problem is your fault and even worst you could of possible killed it by accident of course but because you have been self involved, to busy self pitting to realise that you couldn't keep anything down for a different reason, your emotions giving you whiplash.

It's your fault if your baby might be dead and you're damn right mad that you only just realise this when you are in surgery, surgery with one mark Sloan.

You can't breathe which is not good when you're in surgery, literally gasping for breath.

You see mark look at you over the patient on the operation table "grey what the hell is wrong?"

"I- I, umm" your gasp " n-n-eed to get o-out of he-ere" And with one final jaded gasp you run out, collapsing on the floor outside the OR crying.


	2. Chapter 2

Remember that feeling of getting told of by the principle at high school? Well that's how Lexie felt sitting on the exanimation table, speaking to her doctor.

"The baby is fine for the time being but you need to start putting the baby and yourself first, this means you need to eat more, a lot more then you are now and less stress, this isn't a high risk pregnancy yet but it will be if you carry on like this."

"More food, less stress got it."

"Are you sure you're OK? You don't look well Dr. Grey?"

"Stress with being a first year resident and now becoming a single mum, that's all."

"Everything will be fine, just remember less stress, more food, you need to gain a lot more weight."

Lexie was walking towards the exit, with her hair in a messy pile at the top of her head, a pair of old jeans and a red blouse. Mark Sloan saw her walking, she looked a mess, over tired and under weight. She was always perfect to him, just skinny and curvy enough but now, well a recovering drug addict came to mind.

"Lexie, Lex, Dr. Grey!"

Lexie gritted her teeth, 'just her luck' she thought, turning towards the distraction "Dr Sloan what can I do for you?"

"Little Grey what's wrong? That's two times you have had to leave the OR, once with Sheppard and now with me?"

"No you don't get to do that"

"Do what little Grey?"

"Talk like that, act like you care, call me little Grey, you don't get to do that any more"

"And why the hell not?"

"Because you can't go from being horrible to me one moment to being all loving and protective, you don't get to do it, it isn't fair!"

"Lex I was angry, I had a right to be angry, I still am but that doesn't mean I don't care"

"No! You weren't there when needed you so you can't be here when you want to, it doesn't work like that, and it hurts too much."

"Come on little Grey, I forgive you"

This one sentence made Lexie lose it, 'who the fuck does he think he is, the king of the world' Lexie thought.

"You forgive me? That's fucking rich, I slept with Alex but you slept with Addison, what you did was worst because I never loved Alex so there were no feelings involved with us but you two? You were heads over heels in love with her and you say you forgive me? Well I don't forgive you."

"You left me!"

"You were making me be a grandmother without even asking me?"

"You're being over dramatic and childish now."

"Well that's me a child, did Addison tell you that?" Mark had enough, he was going out his way to be nice to her after a rough day but Mark couldn't take it any more not without saying something that he would one day regret and he couldn't do that to Lexie, not his Little Grey, she was just upset about something and when she's ready to act like a grown up she would come to him. Mark turned on his heel and starting walking away. He didn't want to but he knew it was the best thing to do.

"Oh so it's okay for you to walk away, who's being childish now mark?"

Placing her hands on her stomach "It's just you and me now little one."

-Next day

Lexie had a horrible night, Meredith and Derek had decided they were going to try for a baby which meant no more fret house. She knew she was going to have to move out soon but she was hoping she would have a least a couple of months to figure it all out. She tossed and turned all night, getting up every hour to be sick. Morning sickness was a killer when you had to be up early for work.

At the hospital 

"Two you are with Sheppard, three go to plastics"

"Doctor Yang is there any chances I could go somewhere else?"

"No, now leave me alone."

'great just my luck' thought Lexie.


	3. Chapter 3

She was pretty, not in an overly sexy sort of way, she was pretty in a subtle innocent way, which her past boyfriends enjoyed. She wasn't a tease, he had lied and she did not deserve it, Lexie was certain of that.

Looking in the mirror Lexie looked older than her twenty five years of age. She use to look younger than she was but theses last couple of months had really taken it out of her, her youth was gone.

Taking a step closer to the mirror, Lexie touched her cheekbones, she has always been skinny but she had always had a good perky bum and a good handful for her boobs but her face shocked her today. Her face was gaunt; her cheek bones trying to break through, her bags under her eyes dark making her look shallow and shrunken, her eyes to big for her face, a deer caught in the headlights came to mind.

Running her hands down her body, Lexie took in the way her scrub top hung off her, if she was six inches taller than her 5'1 frame she would look like a catwalk model, she looked like a human hanger and that sicken her. 'If only her mother could see her' thought Lexie. 'If only mark actually looked at her proper.' She didn't bother looking at her scrub bottom half already knowing they were three times too big, just to keep them up she had to roll them up three times around her waist, and these were the smallest size the hospital provided.

She had to gain weight and fast, how could her baby be OK? How come no one cares or noticed how skinny she had became in such a small amount of time? Lexie thought. She was a good forty pounds underweight at least.

3 months pregnant while being this skinny? It was horrible. This was not pretty, maybe she wasn't any more, she wasn't pretty on the inside, she was ugly, dark and twisted now and somehow it reflected on the outside, she wanted to be pretty again. She wanted to be shiny and new again. She didn't want to be dirty any more.

Unable to delay any more time from seeing Mark, Lexie made her way to the plastics floor, yesterday was horrible and she was a hormonal mess, she could only wonder what today would bring.

.

.

.

.

.

.

How could Mark look so amazing, so perfect all the time, even leaning on the nurses' station- flirting of course, he looked perfect? She was still in love with him even though she knew they would never be together again; he would never love her again.

'Dr Sloan I'm on your service today"

"Should we talk about yesterday before we start our rounds?" mark asked, secretly hoping she would say no.

"no I don't think that's necessary, we are both adults and we can be professional because it's not like we are together any more, we were but we aren't any more, which you knew, since you were there and your involved but what I'm trying to say is that we can be professionally I hop..."

"Lex your rambling, let's just see the patients and do our rounds OK?"

"yes good idea, I actually thought it would be totally awkward and you wouldn't teach me but its not- your being nice?"

"I don't hate you Lex, I lov... I was angry yesterday but I'm not, let's just do our rounds, nothing exciting I'm afraid today."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Good morning Miss Carter, Dr Grey begin"

"Miss Carter, age thirty-two, in for liposuction and a face lift."

The woman sat in bed was tall and blonde. She was beautiful, she didn't need any surgery.

"Have you worked on Dr Grey, Dr Sloan?" the patient asked. "I want her cheek bones."

Mark looked at Lexie, 'she looked ill' mark thought.

"No, that's all her sorry"

"Oh what a shame oh well you can still model my cheek bones on her, yes?"

"I can try miss carter." Taking another look at Lexie "Dr Grey we need to talk, outside, now" he was going to find out what was wrong but first he wanted to work out why he didn't notice the weight loss.


End file.
